RooOOOOllllerrrCOOOOAASSTerrr

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Yeah, that’s been me these past two weeks. Trust me, I know I’m annoying. Thing is, I was attempting, along with my doctor, to wean off my anxiety medication. I’ve been on Lexapro (Cipralex in Canada) for over a year now and it was never the goal to remain on them forever. It was only the time to stabilize and feel better.

I thought I was feeling better enough to get off the meds. Apparently, my brain fooled me. I’m not okay and I’m not better. Well, I’m better than I was last year but I’m not there yet.

So, I called my doctor and we stopped the plan and she put me back on 20mg (I’d gone down to 15mg). Going lower and coming back up is just as much shit as it is to start doses and up them along the way. I’m crying half the time, over sensitive, anxious and annoyed all the time. I get angry easily but get stuck with my anger. I’m needy, whiny, susceptible. I’m a ticking fart bomb waiting to smell.

The worst part is, I wanted to try again with the weaning in September. But the pharmacist said I need to be stable six months before I try again. If I count it all, it takes me to January. FUCKING JANUARY!! *sigh*

I promise I won’t be like that all the time. I can’t even write properly which only makes things worst. Having no outlet is difficult. I read but still feel empty when I’m not creating.

So, yeah… You might have noticed that I missed a few days of my writing challenge. I’ll try again another month because right now, my head’s not in it.

And thanks for your patience… I know I’m annoying! But trust me, in person, it’s even worst.

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