June writing challenge Day 6 + confession

A food you could eat forever

There are any but cheese and chocolate are on the top of the list. If chocolate cheese existed, I’d probably like it, too.

Food has always been an issue for me, as long as I can remember. Now that I’ve gone to therapy, I know why. I’m an emotional eater. I use food as a reward. And I can’t even write this past tense because I still do it, much to my dismay.

Old habits die hard. When I’m sad, I want to eat. When I’m happy, I want to eat. When I’m tired, my hormones make me want to eat. It’s like there’s no ending to it. Working on this is an everyday battle. Looking at me, you already know that.

It’s very hard to stop myself. But don’t misunderstand; I’m not an overeater. That’s a very different thing. I know when to stop and I can stop. It’s the emotions leading to me wanting to eat that are hard to control. Happy, sad, confused. Whatever reason is valid.

You know that quote that said, “Stop rewarding yourself with food, you’re not a dog.”? Yeah, I still have a hard time getting that drilled into my brain. Even writing this, I’m eating, though it’s dinner and it’s a healthy salad.

Like I said, every damn day battle. It’s either that or disconnecting from my emotions. But I’m not a robot…so I have to deal.



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